Monthly Archives: January 2015

My farewell to online poker

I haven’t played a single hand of poker since I moved out of Prague 5 months ago.

I still think there’s money to be made in online poker but having tried it out full time for a year, I kind of drained my passion for the game. My time in Prague made me realize that I wasn’t that passionate about online poker anymore; I was in it mostly for the money. I could look at the pro poker players around me and they seemed to be a lot more interested in the game than I was, I don’t think there is a long-term future for me in poker.

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This is from my crib in Vaasa back in 2010. This is where I started making money playing 90-man tournaments.

Am I done? It’s a though question. All I can say is that: as for this moment I am done.

If I am done for good, I know I can always look back on it with gratitude. What an incredible ride it has been. I doubt I’ll ever find something as awesome to make money in as online poker was. What a great opportunity for a kid like me to make a good bunch of money. And I can say that I had an absolute blast doing it.

I didn’t have the most incredible career but it makes me humble to reflect back on it. What an amazing ride it has been. I got so much more out of this game that I ever put in, and in life that is rare. I honestly feel poker was my savior, my escape from the shitty 9-5 life that would have been my faith otherwise.

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A picture from early 2013. I had done well and my office has seen some improvements

This game has led me to some of the most incredible adventures, places I would have never seen otherwise. It gave me freedom beyond anything that I could have asked for.

I don’t really know how many hours I spent playing but it is in the thousands. I played almost 40000 tournaments. Probably closer to 2 million poker hands.

I am sure this game has shaped me for the better, who knows who I would be without it. I know for sure that I wouldn’t be the same guy as I am now.

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Young me, working hard in Helsinki. Summer 2013

I just feel I shouldn’t dabble with these kind of things anymore, maybe I am having some kind of a mid twenties crisis but I have always felt that you should just choose whether you go for something or you don’t.

In life you can probably only have a couple of careers at most, and I am fully aware that I am growing older at a rate that is scary fast. I want to get others things done now. I just hope one day I will get to do something that will be as much fun as playing poker has been.

Cheers. I just wanted to say my farewells. It’s time for me to get off the poker stage for now.

DCIM100GOPRO

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2 Quick mindset fixes

Here’s couple awesome mindsets that really released me from a lot of performance pressure. Whether you are stressing over public speaking or a social situation it’s good to keep these in mind, not only will these mindsets make you not stress so much, that they will actually make you perform better when the pressure is on.

1. You always do your best

We all have our unique view of the world based on our individual experiences, skills and abilities. Our interpretation of those experiences form our awareness. Then we proceed to act and do things based that awareness. So our awareness is a mental map of the world which our interpretation of reality are based.

The problem is that our mental maps are just maps. We always try to do our best based on our capabilities but sometimes these capabilities just fail us. This happens when our awareness of the situation hasn’t developed to sufficient enough level to deal with the problem.

So let’s say you go talk to a girl and Ooops you say something stupid. It’s not really your fault, you had to say something. Some warning mechanism preventing the ‘mistake’ just didn’t exist. Your social intelligence wasn’t up to the level on this matter.

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The problem you didn’t do better is simply that you couldn’t have done better. You did the best you could based on your awareness, that’s all that could be demanded of you. So you simply weren’t capable of not fucking up.

I experienced this often when I played online poker when I had a hangover. I can literally feel my brain is not working and I end up making stupid decisions. At the time I am doing the best I can. The problem is that my awareness is wired for it to perform badly, my awareness and mental maps just are not available to me. Thus I end up using maps that are very simple and playing bad. I can not do better or worse than my capabilities in the moment.

So make sure you have good mental maps, which means that you have put the time to hone your skills and make sure you are getting the best out of yourself on the moment. Never stop learning…

2. Mistakes are necessary for learning

When you were in school the perfection was to make no mistakes. Making no mistakes was valued. This made us value avoiding mistakes over trying to be exceptional. As a result we did what was expected of us, and what was expected of us was to make no mistakes.

The problem is that if you never make a mistake you never put yourself on the line. Every time you take a risk you also risk failure. However mistakes accelerate learning so of course you should allow yourself to make mistakes, they contain valuable lessons that are tailored especially for you. Your mistakes mirror your exact problem points, they tell you where you are failing. Don’t let this information go to waste, look at it objectively and study it.

Mistakes can not be avoided because to never make a mistake is to play it safe, which is a mistake.

Drop the guilt and learn proactively:

Don’t waste your mistakes by just feeling remorse and guilt over them. Feeling guilty is reactive learning, all that it will achieve is make you feel timid to take action.

One of the reasons why we experience so much guilt and remorse over our mistakes is that we are affected by our hindsight bias. Things always seem easy and simple after the fact, but once you were in the thick of things they weren’t easy, simple and obvious which is why you failed.

Learn proactively, learning proactively means that you focus on the solution, not the mistake. Objective and constructive criticism are future oriented and not just an emotional reaction to the past.

The learning loop:

What you should aim to do is put yourself on the Do-Analyze-learn feedback loop as often as possible.

A lot of your failures will be things that you almost have learned but you haven’t quite learned yet, they aren’t yet sharp and distinguishable on your mental map of reality.

You will integrate them by going through the loop which means at first you will be failing. Mistakes will expand your awareness and over time your actions will get wiser.

The solution: Focus on upgrading yourself & be at your best.

There’s two ways that you can perform better:

To be better today: Focus on being at your best.
Being at your best means getting the most out of your current awareness. This includes anything that improves your decision making abilities such as: putting yourself to the right mental state, living healthy and getting enough sleep.

To be better tomorrow: Focus on upgrading yourself.
Upgrading yourself: Fixing your mental map to be more accurate. Learning about the world, learning about your mistakes, upgrading your habits and building momentum.

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Moving in to a new home

New city. New adventures.  New house. New life. New opportunity. My second chance 🙂

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Oh yeah. I have a home once again!
Not as glorious as my Prague penthouse but almost.

19m² of pure beauty.

Its really close to the clubs. All the clubs are close together, its a small town.
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20150111_130917_PanoI have always thought where you live is more important than how you live. This location is amazing. I can just quickly walk where ever I want to go.


Other than that. The goals are coming along pretty nicely so far. As they should since I have had so much free time. I need to get a bit better with my reading but I think my brain will adapt to the pace. Eventually when my reading and concentration improves I get my daily 50 pages done faster and have some energy for the other important stuff afterwards as well.

I’m also Excited to get back to gym. I promise to have a six pack in a couple of months. I will start building a bit of an endurance base on the beginning it take it from there.

This town is a good place to have some non distraction hustle. I always get a lot done here. It can be a benefit that there is nightlife only 2 nights a week. Hit it hard when it’s on. It is going to be a good challenge for me to turn my Vaasa life  in to an amazing porn film.


I was thinking I have been with a fair amount of girls by now
and many of their stories are documented in writing BUT
I don’t have any pictures stored of these girls.
I think this is was a huge injustice that had to be made right.

I created a picture collection: “the girls of the past.”
Kind of like a collection of my childhood I can look back on when I am a horny old man.

I am a big believer in documenting life, if you don’t record what is happening the memories  quickly fade in to this kind of fuzz.
So I dag deep on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and Whatsapp to hunt down any pictures I still could find.

2-by-10-would-not-bang-19Some people say keeping a list is stupid because it makes you do it for the wrong reasons. I disagree, I think whatever gets you motivated, use it.
Some people say I am doing this to feed my ego. BUT.

To deny this would be to deny history.
As a humble man I asked myself the question:
Who am I to deny history?

I was able to find face pictures of 57% girls who got fucked.

I took the best 3 pictures of each girl that were within half a year of getting together.

And I love the album 🙂

So document your life, your children deserve to know who you are.

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1st pussy of 2015

It is always good to be back in the capital city.
Being in Helsinki always puts me in to action mode.

Good circle of horny wing men I have here.
We keep it to the point and only thing that matters
is gaming.

This one begins on the new years eve and we are on the prowl.
We always have the attitude that rejections don’t matter
and we are active in our approaching.
Approaching a ton just gives you this momentum and
aura of confidence. You stop caring about rejection
and get talkative.

I haven’t been out much in the last months and it is
definitely showing in my game. When you lack momentum
your shit tends to be clunky, nothing happens on autopilot.

1.1.2014 @ Baarikärpänen 0300 hours.

This is actually quite a simple one because everything just
seemed so straight forward. I didn’t have to deal with anything
though, the logistics were amazing. It would appear it was almost like a low
hanging fruit but at the same time, had that been my first approach of the night
it might not have gone through. I get a full return on my luck.

Quite a pretty girl of 21 years of life. Conveniently happens to Live next to mine.
When I hear that this is the one I am committing to the end with.
Just some very simple chat and some comically awkward dancing, our dance moves just
didn’t match at all.

I spend the rest of the time with her until its closing time. I find out her sister is staying in
a hotel nearby. I try to convince her not to bother her sister with the phone call but she calls her because the sister promised her that she could stay over. I get some good luck when the sister doesn’t answer. (The sister found a man that night. One horny family)

There is always a number of things that can fuck it up on you. As you get better with in your game you will deal these situations more efficiently and better but sometimes you need your share of luck.

We are going to the same area for the night.
It is easy when you can just hop in to the same bus and get off at the same stop.

For the fucking location I would always prefer my place but at the end of the day a bed is a bed, so I go with the path of least resistance. She wants to go to hers and that is just fine.

Its surprising when she just says that I can come as well, usually they put a bit of a challenge. Easy and smooth so far.

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You have made it to the girls bedroom. What now?

 

I am maybe a bit too slow to make the moves back in hers.
I wasn’t dominant and passionate enough back at hers.
I kinda get dropped in the no mans land of kinda making a move.
Don’t want to outright attack her but don’t wan’t to friend zone myself either.
I kind of make moves but there is no passion behind them so she gives me the line “I am not feeling great.”

Looking back of course that sounds like bullshit. I have been on this
situation before and too many times I have ended up kinda going for it but
not really. So I just take off the attention and the pressure. Trying to
play it. To my demise she falls a sleep. I am left to think what the fuck do I do now!?

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Options:
1. Go for it 100% Just like semi rape her dominantly.
2. Build up the pressure slowly.
3. Wait till the morning.

I pondered this quite a long time. I dislike option 3.
If you worked up her emotions why would you wait until she has a hangover.

I decide to go for the option 4. Wake her up by massaging her private areas
and if she wakes up and doesn’t give real resistance. I am just going to take her.

I am left in a bad situation.
I want to fuck, but I don’t want to creep her out.
I go for the pussy over the pajamas. Thinking this might be the creepiest thing
I have done for a very long time…

It just comes down to, which one do you want more?
I am still kind of going for it but not really. My intent is divided.
When you take the middle road you are the most fucked.

So I am trying to masturbate her cherry and I rub it hard but she just keeps a sleep.
At one point I realize, this is not leading to anything and I stop.

Next plan. Go take a piss and make sure I wake her up on the way back from the
bathroom. So I stumble on her when getting back to bed and then start escalating. I do it but she doesn’t buy. At this point I realize. I am left with option 3, try again in the morning.

I can not give up here. I worked my way all the way here.
It is a priority, I just got to get it done. Often it is persistence that ends up
beating her resistance. Persistence (in moderation) is sexy.

In the morning I catch a little bit of a break when her friend calls her.
This is the first time the whole night when she turns her back on me.

The worst position in MMA is when somebody has your back

Now she is awake and I get to work from a good angle. I am getting a bit of resistance but I get her to submit.


 

I am lacking intent, some girls think I am gay. While not ideal.
It kinda doesn’t even matter much because you can just get to the endgame
and hopefully you play that well. You will get results, the girls are horny.
I need to hit the gym, it helps to eliminate feminine behavior.

One thing that has been dominating my thinking lately is “The girl will have
a one night stand with you, IF they think you didn’t expect it.” This girl might have suspected it but wasn’t sure it was coming. Invisible. She probably felt a lot less slutty because it just happened.

You being very clear in your might end up hurting you. I had similar thoughts in the summer 2013. You can kinda be the safe guy and just get to the end.
Just make her really comfortable with you, almost like a loser that will close hard.
On the other hand, shouldn’t draw conclusions without sample. If you don’t show enough intent you will often waste your time on interactions that go nowhere and I think that is a bigger no no to me. There is something to balance between being full on obvious sex addict and playing it too friendly. If I can inject sexual ideas in her head that can be quite money.



So good old 3 night out with the boys. Old school style.

Conclusions:

Momentum is magic for your verbal game. The difference in verbal ability between night 1 and 3 is obvious.
Momentum fuels entitlement and girls aren’t intimidating anymore. When I am able to relax talking to girls becomes fun and everything eases to a flow state.

Overly commit on the open almost as a joke. Way better to be bold and go a bit too much.
If you freak them out, just humble down and make it click on her reality with
“I just decided to be brave” or “I just wanted to be confident”. This will make a huge difference to the rate of how much you get rejected off the open. They wan’t to talk to dudes but they don’t want to talk to the dudes who don’t posses a pair of balls.

How I gamed on the last night should be how I game in Wasa. A lot of positive interactions that just happened to not go through but not alienating anyone is really important when you are there with quite a limited number of girls.

Just a pleasure every time to be in the Pimp city. Great group.
I thrive on these environments that aren’t so serious and judgmental
about every single mistake.

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