Monthly Archives: March 2017

Achieving happiness – How to turn around a shitty mindset

This is something quite personal that I wrote to myself. I know that I am not the happiest most grateful person in the planet and have a lot to improve on this area so I wanted to distill everything to the core essentials. The ABCs of what it takes to be happy and I wanted it to be done in a way that is memorable and sticky. In a way that anyone can take and instantly implement.

I am sure if we all live the 5 keys that are in this post we will have lives that are way better than they would be otherwise.


Read this sentence with care and take a moment to take it in:
‘To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want’.

Think about that…
If we look at it only from the surface level it appears to be a pretty simple statement and the way people would typically think about it would be via material things.

But I would argue is that it applies more to emotional states.

Now, think of this:
‘To get happiness, you have to deserve happiness’.
Or put more accurately.
‘To be happy, you have to deserve happiness’.

What that actually means is that deep within you, you have to want to be happy.

Let’s dive deeper in to things.
IF the above statement is true and in order to be happy, you would have to deserve happiness.

THEN in order to be really happy we would simply need to deserve it.

Now the question becomes:
Who is deserving of happiness?

That is a big question.
Probably too big for one man to answer.
What would be a lot easier would be to invert the problem and try to nail who is not WORTHY of happiness?

We could probably form a list of universal characteristics and traits of unhappy people.

Unhappy people:
-Are ungrateful.
-Find ways to complain.
-Turn small problems in to big problems.
-Focus on problems NOT solutions.
-Are reactive as opposed to proactive.

Obviously there is more and this kind of list is FAR from being conclusive. BUT for the sake of simplicity, lets focus on these because these are the BIG and universal ones.

Now, these traits will not kill you instantly but instead they will suffocate you slowly in to a slow and miserable death of all happiness.
But why specifically are these traits so problematic?

It comes down to two reasons:
1st reason: They are habitual and work under the surface and this makes them almost impossible to spot. So they run subconsciously and largely on autopilot.

2nd reason: They are both causative and correlative. Meaning that the more you engage in to these behaviors the unhappier you will be and as a result you are more likely to engage in these behaviors. This will form the unhappiness loop that can be near impossible to escape from.

So, now that we have nailed what causes unhappiness, we could probably get what causes happiness.

IF we assume happiness works on the opposite spectrum to unhappiness then happy people would have the opposite characteristics and traits.

Happy people:
-Are grateful.
-Find ways to NOT complain.
-Turn big problems in to small problems.
-Focus on solutions NOT problems.
-Are proactive as opposed to reactive.

And why are these traits potentially so powerful?

Two reasons:
1st reason: Just like unhappiness, happiness can run on autopilot which makes it effortlessly to engage in.

2nd reason: These items are both causative and correlative. This means that just like a person can be in the unhappiness/misery/victim loop, they could also be in the happiness loop.
In conclusion then:
-Happiness is a skill that can be trained and conditioned through awareness and focus.
But most importantly
-Happiness is not about ‘faking it’, it is not some kind of positivity parade where people are smiling on the outside while feeling negative on the inside.
And
-Being happy is up to you. And since it is up to you, it is your responsibility to fix it if you truly want it.
Because remember:
‘To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want’.

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