Category Archives: Wisdom

Feeling down? Take ownership of your thinking

awesomeMost of the time when we are all stressed out and exhausted it seems to be a lack of mental ownership and direction. I wrote this as an internal note for those moments when I feel overworked a bit tired and I want to yield and give up under pressure.First of all it comes down always making sure that we are fucking sharp. We are performing on your best. You want to always have that mental edge over people. Peoples interests don’t usually align 100% with yours and that’s why its important that we as hustlers and leaders are capable of outwitting and outsmarting people. And I don’t mean this as a shady way but we are sharp enough to take advantage of peoples weaknesses and then we can strike on that.
Whatever it is.
A salary negotiation. A sales call. Persuading your employees to work harder. Making sure you are not taken advantage of.With most people you should be able to run mental circles around them, having more awareness and focused on what is important. Being clear headed when they are clouded. You should have clarity of what you want when they are hesitant. You are proactive when they are reactive. You are just more alive and focused when they are distracted and all over the place. This is the mental edge. Just this kind of general sharpness.
And this kind of sharpness can be applied to your own thinking.You thinking that you are feeling sad or overworked means that you are not being sharp.
You are focused on the completely wrong things. It is reactive thinking, it is not going to help you. Instead you need to be tough and focused like a laser beam.

I noticed most of the time when I feel down its either of the two things:
1. I lack my WHY. I am not operating with a clear sense of reason which leads me to not be engaged.
2. I am not moving towards my why (Not getting results). This leads to the chasing of why feeling purposeless.

This is also which leads to inaction.

Laziness is stemming from couple of things. Not seeing the results or not being fully connected to the why.
-Me

Instead you want to quickly reframe all of you thinking, just shut the fuck up when you are having those internal complaints about some bullshit and get to the point.

In a western modern world, there is nothing to complain about and nobody gives a shit.
So stop telling yourself that you are tired or some bullshit like that.

You are good to go. There is always more energy that you can tap in to.
If you are having problems with anything there is always a solution.

In life this is what I have been training for. I have been going after my goals hardcore for a long time so that I can take it without flinching.

My hero’s wouldn’t be wimping.
Nobody I admire would crack under pressure so I am not going to do that either.

So even if I am not connected 100% to my why, I am still doing it just to do it.
And doing it feels good.

Focusing on doing feels good.
Actually, focus alone feels good.

Once you loose that, your mind starts to wonder too much.
You can have stupid thoughts like:
Am I depressed?
Why am I unhappy?
Maybe I don’t really like my life.

And once that happens you are in risk of feeling bad or not being fulfilled or bullshit like this.
Shitty questions lead to shitty stated. Ask better ones and you will feel better. Be focused.

Keep your focus. Take ownership and responsibility of focus.
That is how I have got my victories by being ridiculously focused and connected to that.

And one thing I love about life is that it is an arena for me to live out my values.
Life is where you put everything to practice.
It gives you real time feedback and sharpens you like nothing else.

Here is some things that I have been focused on the last few days. These alone have brought me a lot of fulfillment:

First thing: Stop resisting anything that happens to you.
If things are difficult just make sure to never ever complain. You are making it 10 times harder than it needs to be with your own bullshit stories.
Be really careful if you label something as bad. Things themselves can be challenging enough without you labeling them negatively (resisting).
So just shut up and do it. Don’t focus on the pain because there is nothing you can do.
It is not up to you. It is outside of your circle of influence and it shouldn’t concern you.
It comes down to being proactive in your thinking, having an ownership of your mind.

Second thing: Reframe everything that goes on.
Instead of having to do anything, you get to do it.
The same things can be seen from different lights, we want to focus on the most empowering view.
If things are difficult. I am thinking: this is how it should be. I am living on the elite level. Bring it on. I’m fucking stronger than this and its not going to break me.
It should become a game, you will see all the positive things. This will transform you in to a killer.

Why would I burn out?
I’m not a candle!-Grant Cardone

Third thing: Live with virtue.
Life is an opportunity for you to practice virtue.
Everything is an opportunity to live with virtue and see the benefits of it.
You get to practice right thinking and you get to put it in to practice with action.So just a very simple 1, 2, 3 process you can do to feel a lot better about everything that happens to you.1.Stop resisting.
2.Reframe.
3.Live with virtue.

or

1.Disconnect from your pain.
2.Find the pleasure in it.
3.Reconnect.If you do this. You own yourself and you will be a fucking hero in life.

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Stop going through the motions: making pickup fun again

I think these kind of posts should come with a warning: If you are not doing enough approaches you will not understand this. Read it at your own risk because with it, you risk getting more confused.

In game you will go through ups and downs, just like in most things in life. However in game the ups and downs tend to be pretty drastic. It is said that the biggest thing between a guy who is just good and guy who is great is just consistency. And to get consistency I find that it is good to come back and revisit the basics every once in a while. One great resource I have is my blog posts; they are powerful because these are my exact thoughts with my own wording. It is helpful to reconnect with my epiphanies and remember what I have already discovered; it is almost like having a coach. If I am not getting good results, the best way to reconnect with my successes is to visit my past.

Collage of human head, molecules and various abstract elements on the subject of modern science, chemistry, physics, human and artificial mindsNow.

In my game I am in a place now where it all makes sense to me again. I am not confused about things, I know exactly what to do. I have such a clear mind about this right now that I wanted to spend couple hours just writing it down in summary.

Good game is not flashy.

The game is not about this flashy attraction stuff, the goal shouldn’t be getting instant makeouts or flakey phone numbers to feel good. Rather it is about slow arousal, seducing over time. The goal is not so much to make them attracted. Rather the aim is to take tiny steps together that lead towards sex. Starting patiently, slowly and steadily up the ante, getting the ball rolling towards the close.

Remember:
2 goals when talking to a girl.
1. Turn them on
2. Get them to chase you

What most guys don’t realize that she doesn’t allow herself to get turned on by a guy she doesn’t really trust. It is like the emotions of uncertainty and anxiousness prevent the seduction from happening. Rather than being flashy, game a bit under the radar. Give her a chance to rationalize that he is just social guy, nothing wrong here. There is a saying that good game should not look like good game.

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Taking the stress out of pickup and making approaching fun.

For me success in approaching comes down to couple things.

Firstly, the most important thing: Self-amusing, not taking yourself too seriously. Very important to not be afraid to make it awkward, as a matter of fact it is better if you make it awkward, realize that awkward is funny. Making it awkward also powerfully demonstrates that you can handle it without going inside your head or becoming weird. On the nights that I embrace the awkwardness, my vibe is shitload better.

“Anything you do to not make it awkward will be awkward.”

I think one of the best skills for any guy is the ability to throw yourself in to a situation without anything in his mind. The best guys can open without a plan, with a clear head. If you are thinking about what to say, you are already caring, you are already in your head and you are placing too much value on the interaction. No thoughts, nothing, just throw yourself in to the fire and most likely it will go good, your natural self will come through.

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There is this inner genius that exists in us when our minds are blank, when we become self-forgetting. Let your mind come up with something and it almost always will. But first you must throw yourself in to the situation and then and only then can your mind express its ingeniousness. The reason why I sometimes don’t have anything to say before opening is that I am trying to preplan it and preplanning leads to being stifled, it leads to having massive a filter.

At times it should look a bit sloppy. Sloppy means it is natural, girls love natural over technical. It is masculine to be free, it’s like the girls sense that it is in your core and that is why they actually think positively of approaches that are imperfect but natural. The key is not caring, not being too effected by others opinions, this is masculine and it is powerful. The girls will sense that you are not even trying. Just having fun, fucking around, self-amusing, shooting the shit with completely random topics.

And this is where it gets kind of paradoxical. It is not even approaching so much to get a result it is more exploring the possibility of the interaction and then seeing if it has potential to develop in to something, if it can’t at least you had fun.

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This is very different from the typical mindset where you either win or you lose. In a sense it is not even an approach per say. You make it easy to yourself because there is nothing to fear, you are not putting yourself too much on the line which is easy for your ego to handle and as a result you will be freer. In general it is good to not have too big of an ego about your pickup skills, because you are open to ‘failing’ and  people can connect with you better. When you don’t have massive expectations, you are free to just be you.

I think of ‘approaches’ as more like testing, the best way of describing it is that you are kinda just seeking out the ovens that you can slowly start to warmup. Because usually it is not on or off right away, it is more like seeing which ovens you can start to heat up slowly.

You are not putting in any more effort than is really required, and because you don’t put so much effort in to it, you make the interaction a lot more manageable. You start with a little bit of a lower stimulation which means she will not overdose on it. She will not feel this big emotional drop because you didn’t take her too high to begin with.

So much of it is just reconnecting with that boy in yourself, you reconnect with the zone where you feel free and automatically have fun. Game is supposed to be fun. Don’t work hard all week to go out to hate it.

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That is why I don’t really do direct approaching anymore. After a while direct approaching is kind of boring. I don’t want to get to the ‘He is here to meet me’ frame it is way better to get to the low pressure. You get the girl to wonder whether it will happen and you look like you don’t really expect it to happen, this gives it space to just happen.

Anyway…

It was really good for me to go out 5 nights in a row in Madrid with my old Budapest wingman because it all makes sense again. It is like a bootcamp where I get to connect with my soul and fix some of my issues. A lot of action, sober and then breaking everything down will get you results fast.

Going out a lot you kinda find your own style, your own game. It was also relieving because game has been difficult for me for a while now probably because I have lost my love for life, life has become too much of a grind and it has begun to lack joy and humor. So my mission for the next few weeks is to cultivate that joyous life attitude again. Not taking myself so goddamn seriously all the time.

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Poor people mentality

It’s election time in Finland and that means poor people are complaining about what they aren’t getting from the government. The socialist system we have here in Finland makes me sick, people over here have so much entitlement. They think that the government is always owing them something, they’re fucking selfish as hell.

These are the same poor people who have to think that rich are assholes, just to cover up the fact that they are themselves lazy, dumb complainers who lack any kind of initiative. Some of them think that the rich just got lucky. These people see getting money as an event such as a lucky break, not as a process requiring smart effort. These are the people who play the lottery and complain about their luck when they don’t win.reagan_stencil__fuck_the_poor_by_crizzlesbuttons-d77zk6z

Let me ask you: What have these fuckers ever done for society?

Nothing.

They can’t afford to do anything because they are poor. They just sit around complaining about how everything and everybody else is to blame for their problems. Poor people try to win by losing. They become some kind of martyrs in their mind, too afraid to make mistakes or stand out they just complain and try to justify their shit life. They just search for the sympathy while alienating all the winners and end up dying without contributing shit.

“The true value of a man is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which he has been able to fuck bitches and get money.” – Plato

The way rich got rich is that they found out a way to contribute a lot of value to society and they captured a portion of that value in money. Every single business who has ever been successful has supplied to a demand.

But poor people only see the world from their value taking mindset they think that everything a rich man gets must be  from their wallets. Since they don’t value they don’t understand that the pie does get bigger as people contribute. More contribution, more to go around.

As sick as I am sick of these poor people, but at the same time I can’t blame it all on them. We have been conditioned from birth by poor people. Think of it when you were born you were first touched by a poor ass nurse, then you wen’t with your poor parents, you were taught by a poor ass teacher, all your life you had poor people everywhere. Being surrounded with broke people teaches you to be broke.

These same people taught you that the goal of life is to go to school so you can at a good job so you can retire at 65-years old. That’s the “safe thing to do”. Right? No.
I see my buddies getting out of business school right now, struggling for their first job. After 17 years of school! I can understand that these people feel like the system let them down.
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What jobs are there for me?
How’s my CV? – I could just wipe my ass with it, its nice, white and worthless 😉

But that’s alright. I’m not a big believer in jobs. All this job safety is more of an illusion, there is no pension at 65 anymore, you can’t rely on others and the system to provide you jobs and security. I think we can only bet on ourselves, take full charge of the future.

When you ponder it, starting a company doesn’t seem that risky anymore. These days its looking like the safe thing to do. We have been living on a bit of a protective bubble, Many of us are definitely a bit fragile when it comes to failure.

It’s fucked up that the systems puts us in school for at least 12 years before we get to experience the real life.

All of this reflects society’s thinking in large, the message is clear: We have to get good at something before we are worthy of doing it.
I see this tendency in my fellow business students, most of them are good at critiquing and analyzing but when it comes to implementing, they can not execute shit. Worst thing is that most of them have an ego about the whole knowledge thing.

If they are so good, why aren’t they rich?

Most students have a poor people mentality: they go to school just to get a degree and think that they are now entitled for a job for the rest of their lives.

The successful see it differently, they never graduate because they never stopped learning, they’re constantly striving to be on the top of their game.

If I tell people I wan’t to get rich, they get kinda alarmed, even a bit confused. Why don’t they understand it? I love making money, money has given me choices, freedom, control, time and the power to do what I want, when I want. Whats wrong with that?

If you step up in life the poor people get alarmed. The world doesn’t want you to win, the vast majority of people will never be rich, they are happy if there’s other poor people so they don’t have to feel guilty about themselves being a failure.

“If you don’t think money can buy happiness, you’re living a lie that broke people came up with”

This business thing so far is tough enough without other people feeding you their can’t be done mantra. I try to not talk about this with people who aren’t supportive. So far it’s been a fun month, I have learned so much on my own already, all things that I would never learn in business school. I am finding out more and more that school isn’t actually that useful, it’s a bunch of poor professors trying to teach you on how to run a business without having any fucking knowledge or experience of it themselves.

If I told people about poker, quite many of them would think I am lucky. They don’t understand that I didn’t get the results I got in poker by being lucky. Every good player knows that once you have the skills you can always run up your bankroll. Money didn’t just roll up on my lap because of luck, it was skills combined with effort.

The good news is that I am realizing that in business it works the exact same way, if you have the skills to build one successful business, you can definitely build another. There’s surprisingly little luck in the marketplace. It’s not about getting lucky with your great idea, it’s about your execution. All this is bad news for poor people, but for those willing to put in the smart work, this is very good news.

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How rich am I really?

People often ask me how much money I made from poker.

Well.

I made enough so that if I wanted I could retire today

I could live quite an average life somewhere far away and sunny

In countries like Cambodia or Bangladesh.

To be honest, I am a bit worried about the 6-7% growth rates in these countries.
GDP growth brings inflation with it.

Instead I might choose some other place with less of a developing economy.
Like Swaziland in southern Africa might be a solid choice.

Not too many retirees ruining the scenery.
Chill out with my multiple wives.
Sunny weather, yet far enough from the equator to give little mercy for my white ass.

But, why am I talking about moving to f*cking Swaziland.

It just illustrates my thinking that for a long time I though this way.

That money is just something you buy freedom with.
And it’s so scarce you have to accumulate every penny and protect. It’s hard to make.
Something that allows you to retire because making money is painful and always sucks.

Why am I thinking this?
I don’t even want to retire.

It’s easy to feel like money is really abundant when you’re just making a lot of it.
Printing it playing poker.
Then when you’re not, you’re kinda dropped from the sky back to ground level.

Especially when you surround yourself with poor people like I did in Thailand, Vietnam & Cambodia. These scarcity mindsets are infectious.
It hammers in to you that money is scarce because a dollar is a lot of money over there.
It’s easy to buy in to. A lot of backpackers (me included) were being really cheap. I’m sure that when they go back home to their wealthy countries they are not the same there, they just spend it up.

Same thing happened to me a little bit.
It doesn’t make any sense.

Wealth beliefs!

I’ve been working on how I think about money a bit.
It’s funny to dive deep in your mind and try to figure out why you’re thinking and beliefs are the way that they are. Dive deep in to your mind.
You start to unlock these beliefs little by little.

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Why do I perceive money to be so scarce?
It’s probably one of these things that I inherited from my parents.

Some things happened like 20 years ago and they are still running the show.
And I have all these beliefs based on these things.
I had no idea why they even existed.

We tend to think we’re these rational beings whose thinking is all logical.
When it’s more likely to just be that random events happened to you and you became you.

Most people never question their beliefs.
We are just looking to strengthen our existing beliefs.
Like a lens blocking out everything else.
If you don’t question your beliefs they tend to stay the same..

I really needed to work on these.
I felt such scarcity when it came to money.
If it’s this hard to make money, how could I ever become an entrepreneur?
All that would be left would be to be a company man. Make the dollars per hour.
It would be a huge limiting belief, being an employee would be the only option.
There would be nothing else.

It’s quite exiting. The more I have dived in to this.
The more I think about it.
The more I start to just be certain that business can be done.
It’s not impossible by any means; if I just stick at it success is eventually more likely than failing.

It’s just a complete mindset shift in two months.
My plan making my goals for 2015 was just to grind some passive income online affiliating or something.
Now I have 5 or so ideas I could do to probably get in to €50k+ years.
Next step: Execute

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2 Quick mindset fixes

Here’s couple awesome mindsets that really released me from a lot of performance pressure. Whether you are stressing over public speaking or a social situation it’s good to keep these in mind, not only will these mindsets make you not stress so much, that they will actually make you perform better when the pressure is on.

1. You always do your best

We all have our unique view of the world based on our individual experiences, skills and abilities. Our interpretation of those experiences form our awareness. Then we proceed to act and do things based that awareness. So our awareness is a mental map of the world which our interpretation of reality are based.

The problem is that our mental maps are just maps. We always try to do our best based on our capabilities but sometimes these capabilities just fail us. This happens when our awareness of the situation hasn’t developed to sufficient enough level to deal with the problem.

So let’s say you go talk to a girl and Ooops you say something stupid. It’s not really your fault, you had to say something. Some warning mechanism preventing the ‘mistake’ just didn’t exist. Your social intelligence wasn’t up to the level on this matter.

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The problem you didn’t do better is simply that you couldn’t have done better. You did the best you could based on your awareness, that’s all that could be demanded of you. So you simply weren’t capable of not fucking up.

I experienced this often when I played online poker when I had a hangover. I can literally feel my brain is not working and I end up making stupid decisions. At the time I am doing the best I can. The problem is that my awareness is wired for it to perform badly, my awareness and mental maps just are not available to me. Thus I end up using maps that are very simple and playing bad. I can not do better or worse than my capabilities in the moment.

So make sure you have good mental maps, which means that you have put the time to hone your skills and make sure you are getting the best out of yourself on the moment. Never stop learning…

2. Mistakes are necessary for learning

When you were in school the perfection was to make no mistakes. Making no mistakes was valued. This made us value avoiding mistakes over trying to be exceptional. As a result we did what was expected of us, and what was expected of us was to make no mistakes.

The problem is that if you never make a mistake you never put yourself on the line. Every time you take a risk you also risk failure. However mistakes accelerate learning so of course you should allow yourself to make mistakes, they contain valuable lessons that are tailored especially for you. Your mistakes mirror your exact problem points, they tell you where you are failing. Don’t let this information go to waste, look at it objectively and study it.

Mistakes can not be avoided because to never make a mistake is to play it safe, which is a mistake.

Drop the guilt and learn proactively:

Don’t waste your mistakes by just feeling remorse and guilt over them. Feeling guilty is reactive learning, all that it will achieve is make you feel timid to take action.

One of the reasons why we experience so much guilt and remorse over our mistakes is that we are affected by our hindsight bias. Things always seem easy and simple after the fact, but once you were in the thick of things they weren’t easy, simple and obvious which is why you failed.

Learn proactively, learning proactively means that you focus on the solution, not the mistake. Objective and constructive criticism are future oriented and not just an emotional reaction to the past.

The learning loop:

What you should aim to do is put yourself on the Do-Analyze-learn feedback loop as often as possible.

A lot of your failures will be things that you almost have learned but you haven’t quite learned yet, they aren’t yet sharp and distinguishable on your mental map of reality.

You will integrate them by going through the loop which means at first you will be failing. Mistakes will expand your awareness and over time your actions will get wiser.

The solution: Focus on upgrading yourself & be at your best.

There’s two ways that you can perform better:

To be better today: Focus on being at your best.
Being at your best means getting the most out of your current awareness. This includes anything that improves your decision making abilities such as: putting yourself to the right mental state, living healthy and getting enough sleep.

To be better tomorrow: Focus on upgrading yourself.
Upgrading yourself: Fixing your mental map to be more accurate. Learning about the world, learning about your mistakes, upgrading your habits and building momentum.

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